New Year’s Resolutions
With 2020 in the rear-view mirror and a New Year upon us, I’d like to dedicate my first blog post of 2021 to outlining my personal New Year’s resolutions. I know some people think New Year’s Resolutions are a bit tacky, but for me, it helps to “reset” my goals and set some new targets to aim for.
I’d also encourage you to think about your own personal goals as well - what do you want to achieve this year, and how will you measure your progress? This can be related to OCD recovery - but remember to keep your goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Timely). I believe many people fail at setting goals or fail with New Year’s resolutions because they don’t set SMART targets. For example, let’s say your 2021 resolution is to “recover from OCD.” That’s a pretty generic and high level goal!
Is it Specific? Not really… “Recovering from OCD” can mean many different things to many different people. Some people might consider recovery as no longer performing compulsions. Other people might consider recovery as no longer getting intrusive thoughts (which is a BAD and unrealistic goal!). Try to be more Specific - like saying “I will reduce my compulsions by 10% each month, with the objective of completely cutting out all compulsions by December 2021.”
Is it Measurable? As outlined in the above bullet - adding specific quantifiable metrics helps keep you accountable. That’s why I specifically tracked and recorded all of my compulsions during my own recovery process, so I could ensure I was making progress and staying on track with my goals.
Is it Achievable? Your goal needs to be realistic. If you’ve been spending 8 hours a day for the past year performing OCD compulsions, it’s not realistic to set a target of completely cutting out all compulsions in 1 month. Nor is it realistic to set goals like “I want to completely eliminate intrusive thoughts” or “I want to completely eliminate anxiety.” Setting unrealistic and unachievable goals only sets you up for failure. It’s OK to set challenging targets - but make sure they’re practical ones too!
Is it Relevant? Try setting smaller goals that relate to your ultimate objective. For example, let’s say you want to “Recover from OCD” in 2021. Try chunking that up into several smaller, related targets, like “I want to practice mindfulness meditation for 10 minutes every day” and “I want to perform ERP and eliminate 10% of my compulsions each month.” Having several smaller targets is easier to track and to hold yourself accountable to, and can help reduce the complexity of trying to figure out how to achieve the larger goal.
Is it Timely? Set firm deadlines to achieve your goals - for example, “By December 2021, I want to completely eliminate all compulsions!” Having a defined time table to work towards will help ensure that you are managing your progress well and allow you to benchmark your progress on a periodic basis.
And finally, I want to add one more bullet which is not part of the SMART acronym, but which I feel is equally important:
BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Don’t get discouraged or beat yourself up if you “fail” at a goal. It’s OK to miss a target - we can’t and won’t always succeed 100% of the time. It’s great to set challenging goals that stretch yourself, because even if you fall short, the very act of getting out of your comfort zone and trying to achieve a difficult target is something to commend. Instead of getting angry or frustrated at missing a goal, be grateful that you still have something to strive towards in the future, and know that one day you will achieve your targets if you continue to stretch yourself.
So if you are reading this blog post, I’d encourage you to please take a moment and think about what goals you want to achieve in 2021 - and how you can make them SMART!
For myself, I’ve decided to set these three goals as my 2021 New Year’s Resolutions, and wanted to post them on my blog to keep myself accountable to them, and also so that I have something to reference and look back on when we’re at the end of the year.
1) I want to continue practicing and improving my mindfulness and acceptance capabilities.
I will try to practice mindful meditation at least 10 minutes every single day (Mindfulness)
Every time I am eating meals with my wife, I will put the phone down and make sure that I am paying attention to her and listening to her fully (Mindfulness)
Whenever I get an uncomfortable thought or feeling, I will express gratitude for having the opportunity to experience these things, and I will observe them without judgement (Acceptance)
2) I want to spend more time on things that add value to my life and which make me a better person.
I will reduce the amount of posting/commenting I make on social media platforms like Twitter, Facebook, and Reddit by 80% on non-value added topics
I want to continue helping others with OCD recovery by posting topics on my blog at least twice a month (so minimum target of 24 new posts this year)
I want to develop myself professionally by attaining a new job/position in my company by the end of the year which will challenge me and provide me with new projects to work on
3) I want to be less quick to judge others and be more open to other people’s perspectives
Whenever someone raises a point of view or argument that I don’t agree with, instead of instantly reacting with my opinion, I will take the time to step back and understand their perspective and their circumstances.
I hope reading this post and reading my own personal 2021 goals helps you with your planning and goal-setting as well. As always, if you are reading this blog and struggling with OCD, I encourage you to review some of the other posts I’ve made about OCD recovery and also to reach out to me with any questions. If you are struggling with OCD, then let’s make 2021 the year that you finally tame that beast!
Happy New Year and I hope you are off to a great start to 2021.
Eric