Growth is Not Being Comfortable

I am an avid endurance athlete. I love running marathons and cycling outdoors on my bike. There’s just something freeing about being able to step out the door, away from all of life’s distractions and general busy-ness, and having an hour or two completely to myself and the open road. My daily workout session is always something that I look forward to, as it’s a chance to do something I love, an opportunity to grow and challenge myself physically, and also a time to take a step back and practice mindfulness (focusing on things like my breathing, the pounding of my feet on the pavement, my heart rate, and the feel of the wind on my face).

There are a number of athletes that I follow on Youtube and one of them (Tyler Pearce, aka Vegan Cyclist) made an interesting video the other day discussing how he has “failed” at certain points in his life, but how he was able to learn and grow from those failures and ultimately become stronger. In particular, when describing his personal fitness journey, he says: “Growth is not being comfortable.”

After listening to that Youtube video, I took a pause and reflected on that quote, because I think it is a great quote that can apply equally well to both physical and mental fitness. As OCD sufferers, we tend to want to “chase away” feelings of discomfort or anxiety. We hate feeling anxious. We hate feeling uncertain. That is why we fall into compulsive behavior - because by performing these compulsions, we temporarily “relieve” the sense of anxiety caused by our obsessions. That feeling of relief is like a drug to the brain - and whenever your obsessions or triggers flare up again, your brain will keep pressuring you into performing compulsions in order to get its next “hit".”

In order to break the OCD cycle and eliminate our brain’s dependency on performing compulsions, we need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. Instead of chasing away feelings of discomfort and anxiety, we should make room for them! We should be curious to explore these feelings and sensations, and be willing to immerse ourselves into those uncomfortable emotions. As we habituate ourselves to feelings like anxiety and uncertainty, we can teach our brain to accept these things, and also teach our brains that just because we may feel anxious about something, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong. OCD sufferers have brains that tend to overreact to every single perceived threat and trigger, no matter how ridiculous or improbable they may be. The key to breaking this cycle is to accept these anxieties, fears, and uncertainties and to refuse compulsions. It may feel absolutely terrible at first and you may struggle greatly, but as you gradually begin to practice mindful acceptance, it gets easier and easier to refuse the compulsions that your brain is asking for. That, in turn, frees you from OCD in the long run.

The reason why this ties into physical fitness, and the Youtube video I mentioned, is because training our mental fitness is pretty much the exact same process as training our physical fitness. A lot of people have trouble wrapping their heads around how OCD recovery works - if something makes you feel awful, then shouldn’t it be natural to try and make those awful feelings go away ASAP? And in order to make anxiety go away, shouldn’t we be performing compulsions? WRONG! As counter-intuitive as it may seem, OCD recovery revolves around marinating in those feelings of anxiety and uncertainty and being comfortable with extreme discomfort. As an athlete myself, I finally understood this concept by comparing the OCD recovery process to my marathon training program.

If I want to get faster for my goal marathon in 6 months, I need to be doing hard and tough workouts. I need to be pushing my limits. If I just run at the same pace and same distance that I’m comfortable with now, then in 6 months, I won’t have improved at all. In order to really get better and develop my capabilities, I need to go faster than I’m comfortable with. I need to run farther distances than I think I’m capable of. I need to push myself out of my comfort zone and embrace the aching lungs and sore legs that come from a tough workout. Growth is not being comfortable - in fact, growth is only possible when you push yourself past the limits you think you are capable of enduring. And although it may seem daunting at first, when you begin to push yourself past your perceived limits, you begin to realize that you are a lot more capable than you may have initially given yourself credit for.

Apply the same mindset to OCD recovery and mental fitness. Performing compulsions to achieve feelings of relief is what comforts you. But if you stay comfortable, you will never grow. You will never free yourself from OCD. Instead, seek to do the tough, hard mental workouts that will make you struggle and which may cause you to squirm with anxiety. Refuse compulsions - when your brain is telling you to check on something or to ruminate, refuse to do it, no matter how anxious you may get. Learn to accept those feelings of anxiety and uncertainty like the burn in your muscles from a tough physical workout. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong - it means you are pushing yourself and growing your capacity. It means you are getting better and stronger. And if you continue to embrace these uncomfortable feelings and sensations, you teach your brain that it doesn’t need to be dependent on compulsions to achieve a sense of relief. You will come to realize that your OCD obsessions can’t actually prevent you from living a full and meaningful life, and you will gradually get better and better at refusing compulsions. Eventually, you will reach a point where a trigger that may have caused you to have a full-blown panic attack 6 months ago now barely registers as an insignificant thought when it pops up. That moment alone is worth all of the tough, sweaty mental workouts that you have done to improve your brain’s capacity to accept uncertainty and your ability to refuse compulsions.

So the moral of today’s blog post is to be a Mental Health athlete. When it comes to OCD recovery, improving your mental fitness is just like improving your physical fitness. Learn to embrace uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, and be happy to have the opportunity to experience them, because they are chances for you to grow and get stronger. Remember - if you only ever stay in your comfort zone, you will never grow and you will never escape OCD’s grasp. The key to full recovery and to freeing yourself is to get out of your comfort zone and get comfortable being uncomfortable.

If you are reading this blog post, then I just want to wish you a happy holiday season and I hope that you get to spend some quality time with family, friends, and loved ones during the last few weeks of December. Between COVID and all the other uncertainty going on in the world, I know 2020 has been a tough year for many of us. Especially for OCD sufferers, I have read about many people who are struggling greatly with their recovery process during these difficult times. So I just want to give a reminder to be kind to yourself and take some time during the holidays to tend to your own personal mental health needs as well. Don’t be afraid to step away from the festivities for a couple hours to recharge your batteries or to do some mindful meditation. The holidays are always a good time to reflect and be thankful for what we have, but it’s also an equally important time to tend to your own needs too.

This will be my last blog post of 2020 - I will be taking a short break for the holidays and I’ll be back again in the New Year. So until I post again - wishing you a very happy holiday season and I hope you take some time to reflect on your own personal OCD recovery journey and think about what you want to achieve in 2021!

Eric